Disappointment, Titles and Choices

Posted by Wayne (Melbourne, Australia) on 2 February 2007 in Abstract & Conceptual and Portfolio.

Yesterday I found out the Goldman Sachs Global Leaders Program began accepting applications....Last night...thanks to a friend's query...I reread the fine print and turns out I'm disqualified from applying because I'll be in my 3rd year of university studies...They're only looking for 2nd year students.

Its disappointing on so many levels -
for starters...I'm supposed to be a law student for cryin' out loud...reading the fine print...should've been like 2nd nature to me
and secondly...I'm not getting a chance to even fight for a place.

But I guess good came out of it...I faced my fears (yes applying for the Goldman Sachs thing was quite nerve wrecking for me)...and I got over my dislike for asking people for things (I had to ask several people to write me letters of references)...and I redid my resume and updated my base resume template to reflect new experiences. And I guess I'll be in less of a rush to go about doing stuff which gives me more time to do quality control.

Psalm 62:7 = He is the rock of my strength, my glory and my salvation.

I was talking to Calvin (my old army buddy) today...and he said the nicest thing ever...he said he never knew me to stop. Of course, never stopping was what got me permanently injured in the first place...thus denying me my officer's sword...but then again without being injured I wouldn't have gotten reacquainted with Christ.

Last night was a growing experience too...for just when I find out that I was automatically disqualified and I needed to talk to someone about it...my MSN shuts down and I can't access web messenger...or really communicate with anybody else. I might not be a rocket scientist but I know a sign when I see one - its amazing what some time alone can do for your perspective.

I'm reading this book at the moment called The Millionaire Mind...and its a statistical approach to discovering the behavioral traits of those who are fiscally saavy AND responsible. One of my new year resos (Number 3 to be precise) was to become more fiscally responsible. Anyway...it repeats things that the bible has always talked about...like how these people...the millionaires...actually place alot of emphasis on their religion as an integral part of the success...they stand for noble causes and they have high personal and professional integrity...but a more relevant quality that they possess to my current situation is the fact that they had all been denied or told that they were good enough at one point in their lives...and despite that, they pushed on through and were determined to not give into the circumstances.

I used to be an underachiever as a kid...and my sister...whom I love dearly...use to never allow me to win an argument even when I was right (she still doesn't)...it was incredibly frustrating...which quite possibly explains why I'm such an overachiever now. But as of last night I am faced with a choice...I can either walk away feeling like I'm a loser because I didn't read the fine print and I don't have a title that says Goldman Sachs Global Leader...or I can continue to be the leader that I know that I am and that I know I was created to be.

In that light its not hard to choose anymore. Its the same choice I made when I picked up the pieces after it finally set in that I was a) never going to go into combat and b) I was never going to be a leader in the army....I still know in my heart that the same person who served his country with pride and honor and who would move heaven and earth to be a good combat leader...is still the same person that is in me...and its enough for now.

As the old adage goes...its is not the position that gives value to the man but the man that gives value to the position.

This situation was a testing point for me...and I'm glad to still come out doing the same thing I'm preaching; that to lead men into combat or any other hazardous environment...actions speak louder than titles. It is true in combat leadership and its still true in the rest of the world. I have faced my fear...and I have faced my disappointment...and I will choose to honor Him and to continue to be faithful with what I have been given thus far with or without a title.

Anyway I chose this photo because the solitary stone figurehead resonates a very powerful vibe in me...and today's post is essentially about power. The power of titles...the potential power of disappointment...and the power of choices. I have a fondness for skys...it always reminds me that even if it rains today...all you have to do is push past the clouds and you just keep going...its the realm of endless possibilities =D. It is in the sky of my mind that I cease to become earth-bound and world weary and discover the possibilities within or without may well be limitless.

Have a great weekend guys =D!

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Comments (13)

Still from Valence, France

Hello Wayne. I hope you would not be disappointed for a too long time. Often this kind of failure or disappointments are transformed into force for the continuation of the life. Have a lot of pleasure in your weekend.

2 Feb 2007 2:11am

@Still: Hi Still, thank you for your comment. I'm not disappointed anymore =) I was initially but like I said in my blog entry life is a choice...and I won't change who I am just because I don't have the title to play around with =D

Thank you for your encouraging words =D!

Fred from Easton PA, United States

Don't over look the satisfaction of personal growth, by reading your commentary it sounds as though you achieved some of that even while you were typing .

2 Feb 2007 2:58am

@Fred: Thanks Fred =D Writing has always help me put my thoughts into perspective. It gives me greater clarity from which to determine my path =D. And like I said, I'm glad to have come through knowing that I have practiced what I have preached =D

objectif-plume from Belgium

superbe ciel qui met en valeur tout

2 Feb 2007 5:37am

@objectif-plume: Merci objectif-plume! I'm glad you liked the sky too =D

Jerry from Tampa, United States

Solid strong image Wayne! Well done - great colors!

2 Feb 2007 6:08am

@Jerry: Thanks Jerry!

Colour blind from Tokyo, Japan

Never give up mate. I'm sure it wasn't a mistake you didn't read the fine print. It's just your life. It just means there's something else you're supposed to be doing. I think the photo is fitting for the way you feel but I hope the future photos of you have more detail in the future. Good luck mate.

2 Feb 2007 6:10am

@Colour blind: Cheers! Naw I'm not beating myself over it =) And you're exactly right. I think the stone thing was a bit off focused in the light too =D. Thanks for your wellwishes Colour Blind!

Jo from Singapore

i never knew you understood french.. hang in there man.. my bro always told me to hold on to my dreams.. these wise words i now pass to you... objectif-plume is right... the sky really creates the solitary effect... :) keep snapping those pictures,,,

2 Feb 2007 8:00am

@Jo: Thanks Jo'an for your kind words =D. I'm actually quite alright...its life you deal with it and move along.

Jen from United States

The photo is very fitting for what you are feeling right now. I agree with Colour Blind...you are just meant for something else and I am sure it will be much more wonderful than you can imagine! : D (I love the framing of the picture).

2 Feb 2007 9:16am

@Jen: Thanks Jen! I'm okay about it =D It was a good experience to go through so not there weren't alot of downsides to it in the end =D Have a great weekend!

Alfredo J. Martiz J. from Tokyo, Japan

Things happen for a reason in life, I am sure that you will not need that title to become a great leader. Never give up and trust your instincts as someone might say is a good thing to do, always set goals and achieve them and after you achieve something set up higher standards, but for you, not for satisfying the needs of society. Everything that happens to us, be it good or bad is meant to make us better persons and to build a strong character. God Bless you!
I love the tones of the photo, the way the colors match and make a nice composition!

2 Feb 2007 10:57am

@Alfredo J. Martiz J.: Exactly right Alfredo! =D That's what I was trying to say in my rather long blurb =D except you sorta compressed into 3 sentences =D haha. I'm glad you like the photo...the rest of the stuff to which the stone bit was attached too wasn't very nice to look at so..this sorta forced me to take a shot from the angle that you see now...I was very thankful that it was a perfectly clear day with no clouds at all...come to think of it the weather was excellent that day...a rare thing in a city that's famous for having 4 seasons in a day =D

Myst from Bologna, Italy

Very nice composition. I like the vertical line and blue sky. Don't be disappointed. Good luck :-)

2 Feb 2007 11:47am

@Myst: Thanks Myst!

spots from singapore, Singapore

no matter what happens, God is in control. that is the greatest comfort - knowing that He who has the best in mind for you is working it out for you :)

2 Feb 2007 12:12pm

@spots: thanks for your encouragement Spots! =)

Pero from Kyoto, Japan

I suppose your pics show us your personality. Well, it can't be said all pics of all photographers but I clearly see it in my way through your photos. They are really calm and soft. Things you don't expect always happen. It might be good or bad. The most important thing is how you cope with it. I'm sure you already know it. I'm sorry if I am being bold. Don't be disappointed.

3 Feb 2007 12:19am

@Pero: Hi Pero, don't worry about being bold =D...good communication is an honest one =). I'm glad you see my photos in that light and I agree that the process is as important, if not more, than the end result. Have a great weekend =D

jennifer radio from United States

Psalm 62:7 = He is the rock of my strength, my glory and my salvation.

Woop, you don't know how that psalm has helped me lately!
I love the simplicity, yet intricate design on the column.
The blue sky is breathtaking.

3 Feb 2007 1:15am

@jennifer radio: Hi Jennifer! We serve an awesome God =D. I'm glad you enjoyed the shot =D Have a good weekend

M.E. from Encino, United States

Let go and let God, is the one thing I always remind myself. I find that in due time, He rewards us accordingly and provides us blessings greater than what we ever hope for.

The honesty in the way you write and the photos that went with the posts is unique and inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

3 Feb 2007 10:20am

@M.E.: So true! Thanks M.E.! =D